Saturday, April 07, 2012

An Old and Wise Squatter Cat

Last night I was out on the back porch enjoying my favorite wine and refinishing an old cedar chest. The weather was excellent, I had almost rid the chest of 100 years worth of stains and paint (only a few more strippings to go) and I was feeling great. Suddenly there was a slight movement near the porch door coupled with a barely audible rustling; I swiveled my head around to catch whatever was trying to sneak by me. But there was nothing there. I continued to stare suspiciously for another few seconds and finally decided it must have just been the wind. I slowly turned back to the chest, keeping my eyes on the door as long as possible. When my gaze finally returned to the task at hand I nearly jumped out of my skin.

There sitting atop the chest staring calmly and intently at me was a grey and charcoal striped cat with the greenest eyes you've ever seen. When my heart finally returned to a normal pace, I met the cat's unyielding stare and said in a steady and stern voice "you may be new but you are violating the terms of the contract." Then something impossible happened...the cat spoke back!

Cat: Ah yes, Princess WeeWee, I have been made aware that such an agreement exists.

Me: [confused stare]

Cat: Do not doubt yourself, Princess WeeWee. For I am here and I am real.

Me: But...What...Who...I don't understand.

Cat: All will become clear when the time is right, Princess WeeWee.

Me: Are you with the Squatter Cats? Do Jetblack, Snowhite and Tigerstripes know you're here?

Cat: With? No, I would not characterize it as such. They know of my presence and approve of the message I bring but we are not kin and it is likely that after this night I shall not be graced with their companionship again.

Me: Wait, huh? I think I lost you somewhere...I'm confused. Message? What are you?

Cat: I am as you see me.

Me: What does that mean? What do you want? Why are you here? I still don't get who-what you are.

Cat: Know this Princess WeeWee, I am here only to aid you in the continuance of your rightful path.

Me: Okay...that didn't answer anything. Tell me why you're here or I'll shoo you out with the broom!

Cat: Princess WeeWee, there is no need for hostility. I am not here to threaten you. I am here to give you this-

Me: What? You're a cat, you don't have anything! Unless you're some sort of cat, kangaroo hybrid I can clearly see you have nothing.

Cat: Is that so, Princess WeeWee? Do all gifts need to be seen? Held? Touched? No. My gift to you is this...

Me: What?! Just get it over with!

Cat: The second cushion.

And then the cat was gone! I blinked and all that was left to prove his presence was a smudged paw print on the chest. Confused, rattled and a bit scared I decided to lay down on the porch couch for a bit and try to comprehend what had just happened.

The encounter must have taken more out of me than I realized because the next thing I remember is waking up on the couch, next to the still unfinished chest, covered in cracker crumbs and tuna fish. But I remembered my visit...I knew that cat had not come here just to tease me. But what could second cushion mean? I mulled this over as I cleaned up the mysterious food particles, made and ate breakfast and settled back down in the porch to work on the chest. Then it hit me!

Cushion! I'm sitting on a couch with cushions! There are three cushions on my porch couch so the middle one had to be the second. I was anxious and even a little scared as I slowly lifted up the fated second cushion. And there it was, like a dream or a mirage. I couldn't believe my eyes, how did the cat know? Who was he? I cautiously reached down, afraid it was an illusion, a crazy flight of fancy. But as my hands wrapped around the long lost but not forgotten treasure. I knew I had met a truly mystical being last night.

I held it up, turned over and over in my hands, convincing myself I really had it and it was really real. After fruitless searches and agonizing nights spent wondering, I finally had it...

My lost left slipper.

Princess WeeWee