L.A. Vs. Minnesota Round 2

Here a few more of the differences you’ll find between L.A. and Minnesota…

A typical restaurant encounter

L.A.: Upon entering the restaurant
Hostess: …..
Patron: Um, table for two please.
Hostess: (large sigh) Do you have a reservation?
Patron: This is Chili’s. Do you even take reservations?
Hostess: UGH! Fine. It will be an hour wait.
Patron: Can we just go sit in the bar?
Hostess: Uhhhhhhh… Let me go ask my manager.
MN: Upon entering the restaurant
Hostess: Welcome, welcome! Oh my golly, we are so happy to have you here!
Patron: Table for two please
Hostess: Oh yeah, you betcha! Let me just check here… Oh no! It looks like there will be a little bit of a wait. Oh, I’m so terribly sorry! And here you are looking so super cute in your date top…
Patron: It’s fine. Can we wait in the bar?
Hostess: Oh yeah! Yeah, of course you can! You have the most super time, now, Okay!

Fine, I'll Admit Defeat, PTB

Many words have been used to describe me, graceful has never been one of them. On the other hand; clumsy, uncoordinated and klutz have been used on more than one occasion. Normally, I'm fine with this, we all have our little foibles and as far as personal faults go, tripping over one's own feet is not high on the serious issue list.

Sure, I get the sporadic black eye from literally, walking into doors or a sprained ankle from falling up a flight of stairs. I've had to explain the weird scratches on my arm from misjudging a turn in the sidewalk causing a nasty meet and greet with a thistle bush. Of course my wardrobe has also suffered a few casualties from rouge coffee cups, soup spoons and gas pumps. Once again, this doesn't usually bother me; I've been blessed with a talent that allows me to replace items that have felt the need to betray me.

Eulogy for a Beloved Shirt

What words could ever convey the comfort and warmth you gave me over these many years.


You were faithfully there ready to cover and clothe me for over a decade. You kept loyal longer than any man, girlfriend or job. We were compadres in arms, traveling together through Europe, Russia, South America and the Caribbean. Never were you not there when I needed you.